“You experience a tug-of-war between a deep desire for connection and a powerful fear of being hurt, leading to a pattern of "come here, go away."”
You possess a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment style (sometimes known as Disorganized). This is a complex and often painful pattern where you are caught in a crossfire. Part of you desperately wants to be close to others and be loved (High Anxiety), but as soon as people get too close, your alarm bells ring and you feel the urge to run or shut down (High Avoidance).
Think of your attachment style as driving with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. You want to move forward into love, but the fear of betrayal or rejection slams on the brakes. This often stems from past experiences where the people who were supposed to love you were also sources of fear or unpredictability.
"You are not 'chaotic.' You are a survivor who learned that trust was dangerous. Healing is about teaching your nervous system that it is now safe to let go of the brake."
"Reflection point: Is this person actually dangerous, or does the vulnerability of being loved just feel dangerous?"
This test describes patterns of relating, not a medical diagnosis. Fearful-Avoidant attachment is often associated with unresolved past trauma. If you feel your emotions are out of control, or if you experience intense mood swings that affect your daily life, please consider seeking professional mental health support. Healing is entirely possible.

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