Attachment style test for close relationships

This test is designed to help you put clearer language around the patterns you may already feel in your closest relationships: how you reach for others, how you pull back, and what you expect from intimacy and support.

It can help you:

• Understand whether your patterns lean more toward secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant, or a more mixed / transitional profile.
• See how attachment anxiety (worry about being rejected) and attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness) show up in everyday life.
• Get a short, readable summary of strengths that come with your pattern, not just “problems”.
• Notice common traps or repeating cycles in conflict, distance, and emotional communication.
• Explore small next steps and longer-term directions if you want to move toward more secure, satisfying relationships.

Think of this test as a mirror or sketch map, not a verdict. It offers one way of looking at your patterns so you can reflect, not a final statement about your worth or your future.

What is the “attachment style” test about?

In everyday terms, “attachment style” is about how you tend to connect with people who really matter to you. It asks questions like:

• When someone feels distant, do you panic and chase, shut down and withdraw, or stay mostly steady?
• Do you usually feel comfortable depending on others and being depended on, or does that quickly feel risky or suffocating?
• Do you expect relationships to be basically safe and repairable, or do you quietly wait for the moment things fall apart?

In psychology, adult attachment theory suggests that early and ongoing relationship experiences shape how we regulate closeness, distance, trust, and vulnerability later in life. Over time, most people develop more stable patterns of:

• How they read other people’s behavior.
• How they protect themselves emotionally.
• How they reach for comfort or pull away when stressed.

This test translates those ideas into practical questions about real-life situations — messages, arguments, needing support, asking for space — so you get feedback you can actually recognize in your day-to-day life.

How is this test designed?

Theory and measurement foundations (short overview)

This attachment style test is loosely inspired by:

• Attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth and later researchers), which looks at how early and later relationships shape our expectations of self and others.
• Adult attachment research that measures two core dimensions:
  • Attachment anxiety — how strongly you fear rejection and abandonment.
  • Attachment avoidance — how uncomfortable you feel with closeness, dependence, and vulnerability.
• The four-style adult attachment models (secure, anxious / preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant) that combine those dimensions into common patterns seen in adults.

Instead of copying any existing questionnaire, this test uses original items built around everyday scenarios (messages, conflict, asking for help, personal space, long-term plans). It separates anxiety and avoidance so that:

• You can see where you are on each dimension, not just a single label.
• The system can also derive a primary attachment style that summarizes your overall pattern.

Because questions are phrased in ordinary language and grounded in daily experiences, the goal is to make the feedback easy to recognize and act on, even if you have never read about attachment before.

Importantly, this is a self-report, self-exploration tool. It is not a clinical diagnostic instrument and cannot replace a structured assessment with a professional.

Which dimensions / types does this test look at?

This test looks at both underlying dimensions and named styles:

• Attachment Anxiety
  How much you tend to worry about being rejected, abandoned, or not valued enough in close relationships. Higher anxiety can show up as needing a lot of reassurance, scanning for signs of disconnection, and feeling very distressed when you sense distance.

• Attachment Avoidance
  How uncomfortable you tend to feel with emotional closeness, dependence, and being “too vulnerable”. Higher avoidance can show up as keeping people at arm’s length, shutting down during emotional talks, and relying mainly on yourself.

Based on how your anxiety and avoidance scores combine, the test also assigns one primary attachment style label:

• Secure
  Lower anxiety and lower avoidance. You generally find it possible to be close and independent, seek support when needed, and expect that relationships can be repaired when things go wrong.

• Anxious-Preoccupied
  Higher anxiety, lower to moderate avoidance. You care deeply about relationships, often think a lot about how others feel about you, and may worry about being left or not being “enough”.

• Dismissive-Avoidant
  Higher avoidance, lower to moderate anxiety. You value independence and may downplay your own needs, often keeping emotional distance to stay in control and avoid disappointment.

• Fearful-Avoidant
  Higher anxiety and higher avoidance. You may strongly want closeness but also fear being hurt, leading to a push–pull pattern of moving toward people and then pulling away.

• Mixed pattern
  Your scores and experiences do not fit neatly into one style. You may have elements of more than one pattern, or be in a phase where your attachment tendencies are changing.

Your result will emphasize that these are tendencies on a spectrum, not rigid boxes. Many people feel “in between” two styles, and that is completely normal.

How does this test work in practice?

Number of items and approximate time

• The full test has 40 items.
• Most people complete it in about 7–10 minutes, depending on reading speed and how much you pause to reflect.
• You simply read each statement and rate how strongly it describes you in your usual, real-life patterns.

How to answer and what to keep in mind

• Items use a 7-point agreement scale (from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree”).
• There are no right or wrong answers here. The test is about “more like me” vs. “less like me”, not about scoring well or badly.
• Try to answer based on how you typically behave over time, not just how you feel this week or how you wish you were.
• If a question feels sensitive, you can pause and take a breath. You are free to stop at any point if it feels overwhelming.

Because attachment patterns can touch on deep experiences, it is okay if some items stir up feelings. You can take your time and move at the pace that feels manageable.

How do we calculate your results? (short version)

Behind the scenes:

• Each item contributes to either attachment anxiety or attachment avoidance.
• Some questions are positively worded, some are more securely worded, so the scoring adjusts in the background to keep higher overall scores meaning “more anxiety” or “more avoidance”.
• Your answers are combined into average scores for each dimension on a 1–7 scale.

This test also uses a Pop+Plus structure:

• The Pop block (items 1–20)
  • Gives you a quick snapshot of your attachment pattern.
  • If you only complete this part, you will still receive a basic result with your main style and an outline of your anxiety/avoidance levels.
• The Plus block (items 21–40)
  • Adds more nuanced questions about conflict, long-term commitment, and subtler emotional reactions.
  • Completing this part refines your scores and allows your result to include more detailed examples, strengths, and potential growth edges.

You can think of the Pop result as a quick sketch, and the full Pop+Plus result as a more shaded, detailed drawing of your attachment style.

Who is this test for — and who is it not for?

This test is especially helpful if you:

• Are an adult (18+) curious about how you show up in close relationships, whether or not you are currently partnered.
• Keep noticing repeated patterns — like chasing, shutting down, or mixed signals — and want clearer language for what might be happening.
• Are exploring personal growth and want a structured way to reflect on your needs, boundaries, and reactions with people you care about.
• Are reading about attachment and would like a concrete, experience-based snapshot of where you seem to land right now.
• Want a starting point for conversations with a partner, close friend, or therapist about how to support each other better.

Please consider seeking professional help instead of relying only on this test if you:

• Are experiencing long-lasting, intense emotional distress, such as persistent sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, or emotional numbness.
• Have thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or harming others, or feel you might act on these thoughts.
• Are in a relationship involving any form of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, coercion, or serious control.
• Notice that relationship difficulties are severely affecting your ability to work, study, care for yourself, or maintain basic daily routines.
• Are already in mental health treatment and need to make decisions about medication, diagnosis, or major life changes.

In these situations, online tools like this test can sometimes help you find language for your experiences, but they cannot assess risk or provide crisis support. Reaching out to a qualified mental health professional, trusted local services, or crisis hotlines is the safer and more caring option.

What will you see in your results? (preview)

This test does not rank people as better or worse. Instead, your result helps describe:

• How strongly attachment anxiety and avoidance show up for you, and
• Which attachment style label best captures your overall pattern right now.

You will see:

• Your attachment anxiety level — a sense of how much you worry about being rejected, abandoned, or not valued enough.
• Your attachment avoidance level — a sense of how much you tend to hold back from emotional closeness and dependence.
• A primary attachment style result with a clear, human-readable explanation.

Here is a brief preview of each type:

• Secure
  You generally expect relationships to be workable and repairable. You can ask for support, set boundaries, and stay connected even when things are tense.

• Anxious-Preoccupied
  Relationships matter a lot to you, and you may often worry about losing them or not being enough. You tend to seek closeness and reassurance strongly when you feel worried.

• Dismissive-Avoidant
  You take pride in being independent and may protect yourself by limiting emotional closeness. It can feel easier to handle things alone than to risk needing someone.

• Fearful-Avoidant
  You may both long for deep connection and fear being hurt by it. This can lead to a push–pull pattern — moving closer, then suddenly pulling away when emotions feel too intense.

• Mixed
  Your pattern does not fit neatly into one box. You may show different sides with different people or be in the middle of shifting toward more secure ways of relating.

In the full report, each profile also includes:

• What is helpful and valuable about your pattern.
• Common challenges or misunderstandings you may run into.
• Small experiments and longer-term ideas for moving toward more secure, satisfying relationships.

What can you do with your results?

Treat the result as a mirror, not a verdict

Your attachment style result is a snapshot of your current tendencies, not a fixed label for life. It reflects the patterns that show up often enough to matter, not every moment or every relationship.

You are free to:

• Keep the parts that resonate as useful clues.
• Gently question or set aside the parts that do not fit.
• Revisit your results later and notice what has shifted as your life and relationships change.

Small actions and longer-term directions

Regardless of your specific style, some general next steps often help:

• Pick one small pattern to experiment with.
  For example, if you usually shut down in conflict, practice staying present for one or two more minutes than usual — perhaps just long enough to name how you are feeling.

• Use your results as a conversation starter.
  Share a part of your report with a trusted partner, friend, or therapist, and talk about what feels accurate, what surprises you, and what you might try differently together.

• Look for supportive environments.
  Attachment patterns often soften and shift in steady, kind, and predictable relationships. Seek out people and spaces where your needs are taken seriously and boundaries are respected.

If the test touches on painful material, remember that you do not have to work through it alone. For deeper or long-standing issues, this kind of tool works best as a supplement to — not a substitute for — professional support.

When might it help to share your result with someone else?

Sharing your result can be helpful when:

• You are in a romantic relationship and want to understand each other’s triggers, needs, and ways of seeking comfort.
• You have a close friend or family member who is part of your support system and open to talking about emotional patterns.
• You are working with a therapist, counselor, coach, or other helping professional, and want a concrete starting point to discuss how you relate to others.

You can always set boundaries around what you share. You might:

• Share only the strengths and “what helps” sections at first.
• Use the result as a neutral reference point (“This describes how I often feel during conflict”) rather than as a weapon in arguments (“You are this style, so you always…”).
• Return to the test later as one of several tools for tracking your growth.

References & further reading

• Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships (Simply Psychology) — Overview of adult attachment theory, core styles, and the role of anxiety and avoidance in close relationships (source: Simply Psychology).
• Attachment Styles in Relationships (Verywell Mind) — Plain-language guide to secure and insecure attachment styles and how they show up in adult relationships (source: Verywell Mind).
• Attachment Styles and How They Affect Adult Relationships — Self-help oriented article on attachment patterns and practical tips for building more secure bonds (source: HelpGuide).
• Attachment in adults — Overview of adult attachment theory, dimensional models (anxiety and avoidance), and links to relationship outcomes (source: Wikipedia).
• Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (ECR) — Example of a widely used research questionnaire measuring attachment-related anxiety and avoidance (source: Open-Source Psychometrics Project).
• Experience in Close Relationships Scale – Short Form (ECR-S) — Brief description of a short adult attachment measure focused on anxiety and avoidance (source: NovoPsych).
• Adult Attachment, Stress, and Romantic Relationships — Research article summarizing how adult attachment anxiety and avoidance relate to coping with stress in relationships (source: National Institutes of Health / PubMed Central).
• Attachment Styles in Relationships: Worksheets for Adults — Psychoeducational overview and exercises for working with different attachment patterns (source: PositivePsychology.com).