Test Result
Ludus (The Playful Lover)
“You view love as an adventure or a game to be enjoyed—valuing freedom, fun, and independence above all else.”
Your overall pattern: The Playful Lover (Ludus)
For you, love is meant to be fun, not a job. You approach relationships with a light touch, viewing them as a source of entertainment and pleasure rather than a heavy burden of destiny. You value your independence fiercely and often feel suffocated by partners who demand too much "processing" of feelings or premature commitment.
You are likely charming, witty, and good at keeping the spark alive because you don't let things get bogged down in routine. However, this often means you keep one foot out the door, protecting yourself from getting hurt—or from getting bored.
"Love is like a game of cards. It’s not just about the hand you're dealt, but how you play it."
Typical behaviors
- Keeping Options Open: You may avoid defining the relationship (DTR) until absolutely necessary.
- Emotional Distancing: When things get too heavy or tearful, your instinct is to make a joke or withdraw.
- Focus on the Present: You enjoy the "now" and dislike detailed discussions about the "forever."
Strengths in this pattern
- Self-Sufficiency: You rarely lose your identity in a relationship; you maintain your own friends and hobbies.
- Resilience: You tend to recover from breakups faster than other types because your self-worth isn't entirely tied to the relationship.
Common pitfalls
The game can get lonely.
- Misunderstanding: Partners may perceive your need for space as rejection or coldness.
- Lack of Depth: By avoiding the "heavy stuff," you might miss out on the profound intimacy that comes from weathering storms together.
"Reflection point: Am I avoiding commitment because I value freedom, or because I fear vulnerability?"
What you can do next
Small actions you can start today
- Share one small vulnerability with a partner or close friend—something that isn't a joke or a story, but a real feeling.
- Practice staying in a conversation even when it becomes boring or slightly uncomfortable.
Longer-term directions
- Look for a partner who is also independent (perhaps a Storge or another Ludus) rather than an anxious type who will trigger your flight response.
- Reframe commitment: Try to see it not as a cage, but as a basecamp from which you can explore the world.
Disclaimer and when to seek help
This test describes behavioral patterns for educational purposes only. If your avoidance of intimacy prevents you from forming meaningful connections, consider speaking with a therapist about attachment styles.