Test Result
Severe Concerns
“Your sense of self is deeply merged with others, leaving you feeling responsible for lives that are not yours and neglected in your own.”
Your overall pattern: Severe Concerns
Your responses indicate a profound level of codependency. It is likely that your own needs, desires, and feelings are almost entirely eclipsed by the needs of those around you. You may feel that you have no "self" without a relationship, or that your sole purpose is to serve, save, or endure the behavior of others.
This is a painful place to be. You might feel trapped, unappreciated, and perpetually anxious. Please know that this is a learned survival mechanism—likely developed to cope with difficult environments in the past—but it is a pattern that is no longer serving you. It is not a life sentence.
"You cannot pour from an empty cup. Right now, you are trying to pour from a dry well."
Typical behaviors
- Total Self-Abandonment: You routinely ignore your physical and emotional health to accommodate others.
- Tolerance of Toxicity: You may stay in harmful or abusive situations because you believe you can "change" the person or that you don't deserve better.
- Emotional Fusion: You cannot tell where you end and the other person begins. Their mood is your mood.
A note on your strengths
- Survival Instinct: This pattern developed because you are a survivor. You learned how to adapt to high-stress environments.
- Capacity for Care: You possess an immense capacity for love, but it currently lacks the protective skin of boundaries.
Critical pitfalls
The danger zone:
- Burnout & Resentment: Giving without limits inevitably leads to physical exhaustion and deep, often suppressed, rage.
- Enabling: By shielding others from the consequences of their actions, you may inadvertently prevent them from growing or recovering.
"Reflection point: Saving others often means drowning yourself. Who will save you?"
What you can do next
Immediate steps for safety and sanity
- Seek Professional Support: We strongly encourage you to talk to a therapist or counselor. Unraveling these deep patterns is hard work to do alone.
- The 'No' Exercise: Practice saying "no" to a very small, low-stakes request today. Observe that the world does not end.
Longer-term directions
- Support Groups: Consider joining a support group (like Co-Dependents Anonymous). Hearing others' stories can break the shame and isolation.
- Boundary Construction: You are building a house from scratch. Start with the foundation: "I have the right to feel safe."
Disclaimer and when to seek help
This test is for educational purposes only and is not a diagnostic tool. Your score suggests significant distress. We strongly advise seeking support from a licensed mental health professional.